Updates

 

Once again, this blog has seen a long hiatus.  

Things that remain the same: 

I'm still in this same off grid homestead in Northern New Mexico. Roughly nine acres of pinion/sagebrush on the Colorado Plateau, forty miles from Taos, at 8,000 feet elevation.  

Still trying to grow things in this challenging high altitude, very low humidity, windy environment.  

I'm still reading, hiking, learning about the natural environment, trying to grow things, and making art.

I still face the challenges of living in a body that has multiple chronic health problems, and I still struggle with the effects of burnout that came from living the life I lived before I made major changes.

I'm still happy I dropped out--that I walked away from my life in the suburbs, my demanding career as a professor at a major research institution and my turbulent twenty-years-plus marriage.  

Things that have changed: 

I have a housemate, B, and we've been living together for four years now. We met through a local Facebook group and a shared interest in permaculture. Together we've made quite a few improvements to this property, which I'll share in upcoming posts. We are both disabled which is a strength (we understand one another's challenges in navigating day to day life), and a weakness (projects sometimes sit for periods of time because neither of us has the spoons to make progress on them).  

Another change, one that broke my heart: my dog S. died.  I'm still mourning his decline and death.  I have never loved an animal the way I loved my blind, diabetic hound.  He was there for me when I ended my 20+ year marriage and relationship, when I left my career as an academic and traveled across the country to see the mountain West for the first time.  He was there when I moved to New Mexico for the first time, when I moved to Maine, got re-married, traveled across country in a teeny tiny trailer for six months with my new husband, and then when we first rented and then purchased the home where I currently live in Northern New Mexico.  He was here when that marriage ended.  

Siris on his last camping trip

He lived to be thirteen which is a reasonable life length for a mid-sized dog.  He and his litter were abandoned at a high kill shelter and they were saved when they were transported to the no-kill shelter  where I spotted him.  I didn't realize he was blind at first, neither did the shelter.  He was born blind and he was remarkable at figuring out and navigating his surroundings.   I had figured out the blindness by the time I signed the adoption papers.   By then I'd gotten attached to him and I'd learned that his blindness was something he and I could work around. 

He had a very active and happy life. I became his seeing-eye person and he was always very close by to make sure that I was there to help him navigate.  He remained active for a couple of years after he recovered from near death when he developed diabetes.   However, even with twice daily shots of insulin, his blood sugar was not controlled for his last year.  He was at maximum dose and still his blood sugar was too high so he suffered side effects.  It was heart breaking to see him decline until he could no longer take his daily walks.  He just laid on the floor by the wood stove and was disinterested in anything, in part depression brought on by high blood sugar.  He could no longer support his back legs very well.

I decided it was time to euthanize him. There is a never a right time for this. It's always too soon or too late.  I thanked him for all that he brought into my life and the love we shared.  He's now buried in the garden and I think of him whenever I'm in there, and whenever I see remnants of his beloved tennis balls that are scattered across the landscape surrounding the house and property.  There will never be another dog like him.

Happy Siris rolling in the grass

And now I've adopted two more dogs from the shelter.  The first one, Eerie, was a four month old Heeler.  She was a hellion!  She demanded constant attention and exercise, and needed help managing and learning to calm her active body and brain.  After we'd had her for nine months, B. and I decided it might help to foster a second dog, six months old, as a companion for her.  This was very effective, although suddenly we had two young dogs in the household.  The second dog was an excellent addition and we adopted her (Sky).  She's a light colored, short haired Husky.  The two are great friends now and entertain each other.  

Eerie and Sky, the day Sky came home to us from the shelter

Another very big life event happened: I got breast cancer, early stage invasive ductal carcinoma.  I had surgery and radiation.  Currently no evidence of disease.  I found this out just a few weeks after my dog Siris died, and just as we adopted our new puppy, Eerie. This was a challenge (!!??) and took me to the edge and even over it a couple of times.  Nevertheless, I made it through.  I walked many miles during this time period.  I think it was the walking that kept me going the most. 

And finally, my house and property are paid off!  I have no debt.  This was unimaginable to me ten years ago, when I had an underwater mortgage on a house for which my then-husband and I owed several hundred thousand dollars, we had tens of thousands in credit card debt, and I had enormous student loans and a car loan.  Today, I owe nothing for my house and property and vehicle.  No student loan debt. I have a single credit card through my credit union (no more big banks!) and it carries no balance from month to month--I keep this only in case I need to rent a car or have an unforeseen emergency. I live below my means on a poverty level income.  I'm working on replenishing my emergency savings after paying them down toward the mortgage.  

More updates to come!